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I'm Dating My Best Friend's Ex-Husband Am I Wrong?
I had an interesting conversation today with another co worker and I wanted to share it with you ladies. My co worker has been secretly dating her bestie's ex husband/kids father for over a year now. Well recently her bestie caught her red handed with her ex. My co worker was clearly upset not because she was wrong for not telling her bff about what she was doing, no this fool was UPSET because her bestie told her she was wrong and she violated the "THE FRIEND CODE" she asked for my advice and I gave it.
First PERSONALLY if you're my friend you are my friend. I would never doing anything to cross you, hurt you or disrespect you. Real friends don't sleep with each others men PERIOD. Past, Present, or Future!
Dating a friend’s ex takes BALLS! I would never encourage sneaking around behind a friend’s back with their ex boo. Regardless if it was serious or not you're friend will look at it as straight betrayl PERIOD! Remember the saying "what happens in the dark always comes to the light?" TRUST your dirty little secret will come out and you're bestie will be the one thats hurt not because you were sleeping with her ex but because you were her FRIEND she confided in you and trusted you. The whole time she's thinking her bestie has her back when in reality you're somewhere laying on you back getting banged out by her ex boo! That's not cool.. You know that chick Karma yeah she's a b--ch and whatever you do will eventually come back to bite you in the ass. If you love and value you're friendship with your bestie stay away from her exes EVEN if she says its cool decline the offer remember chicks before d--ks!
Now I know it's some trifling friends out there and some of ya'll YOLOING right now. So if you’re going to date a friend’s ex, you have to be able to look your friend in the eye, tell them you’re now the new person in their ex’s life, then be willing to get your ass stomped out for being trifling. If you’re not willing to accept your fate, you probably don’t like your friend’s ex as much as you think you do...
My advice do unto others as you wish others to do unto you...
Anywhoo that was my advice.. Who else wants me to help the solve a problem? Inbox me a question and I will answer it to the best of my knowledge here in the forum and it will all be anonymous!
Love and Peace!
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Robin Jackson on -
LOL on the answer you gave!!! I get where you're coming from the friend code is very sacred and it definitely should not be crossed, especially from the perspective of whatever ugliness the man did to the bff more than likely he will probably do to you cause a leopard don't change his spots and who wants to be dealing with that type of ish.
On the other hand people can't help who they love and are attracted to, and if a relationship is meant to be(you know predestined from a universal/spiritual perspective) whether the man was with your bff first or not it is going down however, I do believe that lying and sneaking is not a good look so everything should be put on the table and whatever consequences occur if any then deal with it like grown folks.
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Permalink Reply by Deandra Tucker on -
Friend friend is a word that alot of adults throw around,I belive that if these two ladies were really friends this conversation never would have happen.A friend is someone that you can talk to about anything even if you are feeling her Ex Man,use to be men,whatever he was.Because he was not good for her does not make him exempt from finding love right ladies? Now if she would have been a real friend she would have told girly that her ex was trying to talk to her.And when and only when her friend say b****h F***K him if you want to ,because that ninja ain't S**t ! than the choice would have been on her after that.Now I'm a big fan of KARMA and karma would have got her but not for geting with her friend ex,but for not being a good friend.If he was not good for me how and the hell could he be good for my friend,my friend.So when he cheat,lie,etc.Karma would have got her.And if she was a friend I will be able to say B***h I told you..
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Permalink Reply by Koa Thomas on -
She was never a friend in the first place. I think you need to maybe disconnect from her a well. She obviously can't be trusted. Your response was super!!!
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Permalink Reply by Felicia Vernon on -
Lol, smh and Trif! She is low down and plain old Filthy, trashy dirty and is clearly looking for lust in all of the wrong places. I agree with your advice! Wow!
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Permalink Reply by Dnene on -
That's just dirty ..like u said it don't matter if.it's pass,present or future u never mess with ur """bff""" ex its just low down...
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Permalink Reply by Betsy Luzik on
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I had my 2 best friends do something just like this. No ex husband but men I was involved with. 2 diff friends... 2 diff men...within 2 months. I guess 2 is my unlucky number. But my 1 friend was sleeping with the dude I was sleeping with n didn't tell me n then got mad at me when I found out after he told me because he got mad at her. Situation #2, my other best friend came to me n told me she liked the dude I was with. Not officially dating but close enough. Then got mad at me because I asked him about it. She almost rubs it in my face too. I was sooooo hurt. I'm a very forgiving person so they are still my friends but it will NEVER be the same. Its a shame because I'd never do then how they did me.
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Permalink Reply by KEY'SHA on -
I AGREE 100% WITH YOU DENESHA.
ACTUALLY I HAVE TWO BEST FRIENDS,AND THERE WEW ALSO BEST FRIENDS BEFORE I MET THEM. BUT ANYWAY, BEST FRIEND #1 CONTINUES TO SLEEP WITH BEST FRIEND #2. MALE FRIENDS OR EX BOY FRIENDS. ME PERSONALLY , I THINK YOU R VERY LOW SELF-ESTEEM BITCH. WHOSE VERY JEALOUS- HEAR TED AND THE BAD THING ABOUT IT, YOU HAVE LOST A FRIENDSHIP, FOR A PEACE OF D***, THAT'S HE'S PROBABLY GIVEN TO UR NEW TO UR NEW SO CALL FRIENDS..
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Permalink Reply by LaShawn Turner on -
The same thing happened to me, so I cut them both loose.
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Permalink Reply by gift larry on -
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Permalink Reply by Faith-Glam Fashion Boutique on -
This is SAD. You cant help who you love true indeed but damn her EX HUSBAND and father of her kids. I treat my BF's kids like their my own. We go shopping, they call me for advice when their mom is being butt headed. Ive even given a spanking or two and I could never imagine having to explain to them that I'm now dating their dad. If nothing else the kids would be devastated. If I was the ex wife I would cut her ass off like a loose thread. They've been going steady for a year but wait until all their friends and family find out. The relationship is destined to fail. I couldnt imagine going through a divorce and then finding out he's sleeping with the chick I pretty much told everything to. Im sorry I would be on Snapped. But now she sees that her "friend" was really a "snake" in the grass. They bite you everytime.
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Permalink Reply by La Cole on
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That b**** is DEAD WRONG!!! I am not a violent person but that so called friend deserves to get her ass kicked! And I don't believe in that saying "you can't help who you fall in love with." BS! Everything we do in life is a choice. We choose to love and she chose to be selfish and get with her friend's ex husband. Recipe for disaster. That chick should have known better. And in actuality, she did which is why she hid it for a year.
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Permalink Reply by Ms. Toni on -
Lmao!!! at your co worker for thinking she wasn't wrong in the first place! Like chick are you serious?! How did you even get that far? 1 whole year?! She was obviously not a true friend to begin with. That's so sad on so many levels. I hope her bff has moved on and realize that's no friend to keep. And make matters worst they have kids together. Now her kids gotta be around this trifling chick! Man, I would have gone to jail if that was me. I wish the bff well. smh
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