As black women, we’re pretty much always on the chopping block about having too much attitude, baggage, not standing by our man, too independent, lazy, fat, etc. Yes, those are all stereotypes, but it seems to be a growing pain for women in the black community.

It gets harder and harder everyday for us because it seems like we’re always trying to prove ourselves. People are so quick to judge us not realizing that most of us have to step it up and play both roles because some of these men aren’t doing their part. Yes, some of us have what others consider attitude but more of a defense mechanism. We’re to the point we’re sick of always being in the line of fire, trying to prove ourselves when we go just as hard, if not harder, than any women in any race. Our counterparts spend so much time criticizing us, but yet they do everything they can to act, look and be just like us in an effort to gain the attention of black men.
Regardless of what anyone thinks, black women have had to build up a wall of strength and independence which dates all the way back to slavery. We watched our husbands, children and many other family members get beaten, sold and killed right in front of us most times. Not to mention had to play the role of the mistress to master. Now, in today’s society, next to the white man, we’re the ones that are at the top of the success list and I don’t feel the need for us to have to be sorry or apologize for it.

Kachelle Kelly recently relaunched her book, Pretty Painful, which is about dramatic and critically acclaimed work where she takes the mask off the pretty face to deliver hope, help and healing to the unspoken hurt often hidden beneath a beautiful appearance. Regardless of what people may think, behind the neck rolling, sassy attitude and give me 50 feet attitude is a lot of hidden hurt and pain. We have to work hard to go against the grain every day of our lives. It gets hard to keep our head held high though it all, but Kachelle Kelly has managed to give us some tips on just how to do so.

Here are her top five tips to achieving a healthier self-esteem:

1. Reconnect with who you really are without the influences of others and the media.

2. Loving exactly who you were created to be.

3. Embracing your strengths and forgetting your weaknesses.

4. Surround yourself with people that are genuinely happy to support you & celebrate who you are.

5. Resolve issues in your life that you are suppressing. When you do good, you feel good. If you are the sharpest knife in the drawer, you are in the wrong drawer.

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