While out promoting and grinding in NYC a few weeks ago, a brother asked me a great question.

If I could pass 3 messages onto younger girls what would they be? Here is what I answered (at least to the best of my memory):

Lesson #1 Stay on point but don't live in fear... don't be afraid to take smart risks.

When I first started writing urban books most of the people around me thought I was straight cray cray. I quit my job and everything. If I had lived in fear of the unknown I wouldn't be where I am now, with 4 urban books under my belt, one on the way and several business ventures. And I can admit today that quitting my job wasn't a smart risk at that time, because I struggled for YEARS behind that decision, but I'm still glad I took the shot and did my own thing.

Lesson #2 Learn to love yourself and find the source of your anger. You can't show love to anybody if you hate who you are.

Let's face it, a lot of us are just angry. I personally let anger hold me back from a lot of opportunities and relationships for years. When I finally pinpointed the source of my anger and cut its throat, things started to change. Also self-love -- it sounds corny but if you don't love who you are, the real you, you can't really love anything or anybody else. That's probably where the term hater came from.

Lesson #3 Don't care what anybody but God thinks of you.

You can't live your life worried about what the next man or woman thinks about you. You'll never please anybody. Who cares if you don't drive the best car or live in the biggest flyest house? Are YOU happy? Because that's what really matters in the grand scheme of things.  People can have all that stuff for show, flossing for the sake of people who don't even like them and still be miserable. 

Rock a purple afro if you want. Drive your lil hooptie with pride. It's your world. At this point only God's opinion of what I do and who I am matters to me.

What are your biggest lessons learned Boss Chicks?