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Women vs Women: Is My Sister My Keeper or My Competitor?
A few days ago I was reading an article where Nicki Minaj said she felt like she wasn't appreciated by fellow female MC's. Then I thought back to Mixtape Nicki and one verse stuck in my head. "Women are like crabs in a bucket you see a bad chick getting shine you should love it, cause when a door opens for me that means you just got a better opputunity to do you."
Then I thought back to conversations I've had with other women in the same field as myself. When our male counterparts advance we are extremly proud of them and naturally happy for them. But when a female advances shade is automatically thrown at her. Then there's the who did she sleep with to get ahead, why was she even considered for that promotion, or that promotion should have been mine. Then I realized there are two types of women in this world.
There's a type of woman who loves to see other women shine, especially if she's in the same field. She knows that acceptance of her colleague makes it easier for others coming behind her, and she looks at the woman making moves she hasn't yet as a woman who opens doors. She also looks at that woman’s successful moves and finds ways to adapt them so she can also reach the same heights and even go beyond.
Then there's another type of woman, who feels upset over another woman getting what she doesn’t yet have. This is the type of woman who sees every other woman with potential as getting in her lane and threatening what she’s accomplished.
Thinking back to when I was the woman who was struggling to be advanced on to the woman who is now calling the shots, I can recall the way that I was shaded. There were women who were far ahead of me in my career, I'd often look to these women for mentorship but it never happened it was almost like I got mine you need to get yours. In fact, they seemed to go our of their way to make things harder for me. I know they weren’t obligated to help me, but I wondered how much stronger women’s numbers could be at the top if they let go of thinking of themselves and we all worked together. I once read an article and it said “Men see other talented men and see collaborators.” “Women see competition. And it’s killing them.”
So I ask you ladies do you see your sister as your keeper or your competitor?
Comment
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Comment by Sasha Norman on June 9, 2012 at 12:16am -
Love this! I believe women should be supporting each other for more reasons than just increasing numbers although I think that's important as well. We would all learn to be more genuine not shady with ulterior motives, support and lifting one another is the best and most important thing we all need to do! Sisterhood is better than always thinking someone's out to compete with you.
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Comment by Shanna Brewer on May 9, 2012 at 8:01am
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This is so very true. Speaking for myself I see that type of thing happening all the time. I have all ways felt that anyone can do whatever they put their mind to. Some choose to succeed in life others choose to comment on the way others live thier life. It is what is it and misery loves company. I say to anyone woman who is all about her business by all means do you!
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Comment by VidaMari on May 6, 2012 at 8:16pm -
This is very true! I feel the struggle of a woman are hard enough! But the add the dramatics of it all no matter what a woman does someone will have a negative reaction. I am proud to be my sisters keeper! I think there is growth in the woman who supports her own!
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Comment by Janaee Heard on May 4, 2012 at 1:19am
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I would like to say my sister is my keeper; however, my life experiences say something completely different. I find that too many times my contact with Black women is negative. The only time I can honestly say that its positive is when I dish out compliments. Its like we are on opposing teams period, whether it be in outward appearances, relationships, careers etc. I would like to have a better relationship with my sisters in all areas.
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Comment by Ziye' Luxury Hair Extensions on May 2, 2012 at 10:17pm -
I have always seen myself as my sisters keeper. Hasn't always been the best for me to be that way but I always say as long as my intentions are good I can't be responsible for the intentions of others. I thank God daily for not being cursed with the Hater Gene and my motto now and has always been "want for mister, what I want for myself" your bag can't expand if it's closed! Unfortunately this issue is much deeper than any of us can imagine so we gotta just keep meeting and networking with women such as ourselves and hopefully it will be so many of us we won't even be phased by the little of them. Wishes of much success my Sisters!
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Comment by Mese Jenkins on May 1, 2012 at 10:00pm -
I see my sister as a keeper! This also goes back to the glass ceiling effect. Many women (especially ethnic women) in corporate America struggle to get mentors from people who are higher up on the corporate latter than they are. According to a study that can be found in Development Through the Lifespan, women who have characteristics of leader get unfavorable evaluations. With that being said, women need to band together and help one another. The whole Nicki Manj Lil Kim beef is really trivial. If the two would band together the track would be hot. Just like in that example if women would stop being catty and band together there would be so many amazing businesses!
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Comment by Myesha Townsend on May 1, 2012 at 9:57pm -
this is soo real
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Comment by Glamour Payne on May 1, 2012 at 9:26pm -
Yess!! seem's like the men are jealous now days and all the women are all in competition and it's sad but me personally I really enjoy seeing other women doing great things!!
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Comment by MUA Moni Pradier on April 29, 2012 at 4:27pm -
This is so on point!
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Comment by Gigi Wentworth (Blogger) on April 29, 2012 at 11:59am -
“Men see other talented men and see collaborators.” “Women see competition. And it’s killing them.” that statement hit the nail on the head. I've also said that recently.
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